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I’ve been borrowing ebooks from NLB ever since I bought my Kobo. I find it difficult to listen in Zoom meetings, so I hope to learn something from this book named “Power Listening” by Bernard T. Ferrari. I also have difficulty remembering things, so I summarised my takeaways below. I recommend reading the book and penning down notes so that you can appreciate the art of listening based on real-world examples and remember what you need to do to be a good listener.

Section 1: “Listen up!”

This book has a clear organisation of chapters. This section highlights the importance of listening. It then proceeds to talk about the types of poor listeners and how you can avoid doing what poor listeners do.

Chapter 1: “Listening Is Worth the Effort”

Listening is associated with the following:

• Has a purpose. There is often something that needs to be achieved at the end.
• Needs control. So that you can filter information and steer conversations to where they need to be at.
• Needs focus and engagement. Ask the right questions and interject where helpful.
• A prerequisite to good decision-making.

Chapter 2: “What Kind of Listener Are You?”

(CP = conversation partner) Poor listener archetypes:

1. Opinionator
   • Listens only to affirm that what CP says matches with his/her understanding
   • Not open-minded
   • Believes that he/she is often if not always correct
2. Grouch
   • Does not appreciate conversations/discussions
   • Believes that CP is wrong right off the bat
   • Needs much perseverance from CP to convince him/her otherwise
3. Preambler
   • Does not cut to the chase
   • Uses fillers to steer conversations and decisions
   • One-way communication
4. Perseverator
   • Appears engaged but does not contribute
   • Won’t shut up and always speaking on the fly
   • Only concerned with his/her own points and does not always reply to what other people are saying
5. Answer Man
   • Rushes to start talking about solutions
   • Eager to please with his/her quickness
   • Always comes up with comebacks when there are questions about his makeshift proposal
6. Pretender
   • Uninterested or distracted but pretends to be engaged
   • Unable to receive valuable information from CP
   • Prone to inaction or poor decision-making

Chapter 3: “Respect Your Conversation Partner”

Benefits of doing so:

• The person raising the question may already have the answers but they need to be teased out.
• Can stay open-minded and glean value from fresh perspectives.
• Can focus on gathering more information and calls to actions.
• Encourage critical thinking and get more quality information.
• Encourage CPs to be genuine and offer possibly fresher ideas.
• Become more sensitive to nonverbal cues.

A good mindset to have towards conversations is to assume that there is something to learn through them.

Chapter 4: “How to Keep Quiet - Most of the Time”

Maximise speaking time by:

• Asking the right questions
• Giving commentary that’s helpful
• Interrupting only to speed up or redirect a derailed conversation

Speak when:

1. Clarification is needed.
2. Details are needed.
3. More focus is needed.
4. Something else needs to be discussed.
5. There are new perspectives or edge cases which need to be addressed.
6. The conversation should end.

Disagreements and interruptions should be packaged into questions which prompt CP to think about and address edge cases.

What makes a question a good one?

• Will it prompt CP to think deeper and provide more details?

What makes a question a not-so-good one?

• Will it derail the CP’s ideas?
• Is it just to show off your own ideas without helping with anything?

These questions help CPs think through things or steer the conversation back in pursuit of its original purpose.

Chapter 5: “Challenge All Assumptions”

Our assumptions can be wrong. Leaving assumptions unchecked inhibits us from staying open-minded, listening and learning from others. Certainty alone is only a feeling. Certainty needs to be backed by data and facts. We need to embrace ambiguity and focus on disambiguation.

Benefits of challenging assumptions:

1. Less ambiguity
2. Establish common ground for action
3. Prepared for any scenario

Examples of challenging assumptions:

1. “Are we interpreting x the same way?”
2. “What if x is actually y?”
3. “Will our plans change if x deviates?”

Chapter 6: “Keeping Your Focus”

How to focus:

1. Irrelevant thoughts should be stowed away.
2. Prevent emotions from taking over (e.g. excitement, fear, frustration, hatred, impatience, jealous).
3. Practise mindfulness or purposeful distractions which, ironically, keeps your focused. This doesn’t sound like something I’d want to adopt before the rest.
4. Aim to come up with good questions. To do this, you need to stay engaged. It’s a cycle.
5. Take some notes at the end of each meeting (which can help with the first point).